Blog Moved!!!!

This blog is dead. It has been reincarnated as a wordpress blog.

http://mylifetransplanted.wordpress.com/

In Training...

Alright ya'll I met with a personal trainer this morning. But only for 20 minutes. And NO, not because I chickened out but because we had to evacuate the building LOL. No idea why. All I do know is that fire alarms were going off full blast and I thought my ears were going to explode. Instead I exploded out of the gym into childcare where my kids were NOT. eeeeek. Turns out they bailed much quicker than me and they were outside on the playscapes LOL. We stood outside for 25 minutes sweating our asses off and cranky and unmotivated to go back in. My trainer (Carley is her name btw) came up to me and said "oh no running away, I'm not done with you yet". LOL, bitch, LOL. But after 15 minutes we decided to reschedule because I couldn't hang around due to the fact that my daughter pee'd her pants UGH!. I couldn't leave because my keys were in the gym. Sigh... So I sat ouside melting for 25 minutes and with a little girl with wet butt.

But the 20 minutes I did have with Carley was HELL! She is bound and determined to kill me. I mean I knew that was coming but danggggg, I didn't think it would be this bad. I am really really really out of shape LOL. I made it very clear that I HATE cardio so she worked it out so I would only have to do it for 10 minutes. COOL. But then she told me that I have to do 10 minutes 4 times LOL. Grrrrr. And not only am I doing cardio but I am doing tough ass cardio. I thought I was going to keel over and die after 2 minutes. Hopefully that shit will get easier. If not, I am screwed LOL. So anyhoo...she has me doing nothing but free weight training (which by the way targets every single muscle in your body and it's a killer. Who would've thunk???) and cardio 3 days a week and then cardio and circuit training the other two. Ummmm....that is 5 days a week!!!! Yipes. She said I can skip Tuesday and Thursday but she doesn't recommend it. Bitch. This chick is super beautiful and I have never seen a woman in better shape. But I have to wonder, if she has a masters in sports medicine, why the fuck is she hanging around YMCA torturing unsuspected fat asses like me??? Why can't she get a job fixin up the Longhorns or some other REAL athletes?

Needless to say, I hung out with Helga in her house of pain for 20 minutes and I feel like someone took my muscles and ground them up like beef! I hurt. I hurt bad! But the way I see it, is that if I hurt this bad after 20 minutes of her program, then I was definately not doing anything right on my own. I never hurt until I met her LOL. I would leave the gym after 1.5 hrs and not feel a thing. I guess that explains the jiggly ass and doughy everything else.

I am going to stick with it. I have to. Carley is pretty cool and she seems to laugh at my inability to function a lot so I think we were meant to be. Who knows, maybe it will be fun. I said MAYBE! I'm not holding my breath....

Ouch ya'll!

Wazzup?!?!?!?

Has it really been a month and some change since I touched this blog? Wow, time flies.

But guess what? There isn't a whole lot new and there isn't much to blog about. Lame huh? Were you expecting some super spectacular scroll of things that have happened to us? Sorry man, just aint gonna happen :-) But I am sure I can conjure up some minor and boring things to fill this space.

First and most importantly...I think it stopped raining!!! This has been one wet summer. The bad news is that now that it's not raining, it's HOT! I guess that's not "bad" news per se, but Leslie doesn't bode well in sweltering heat.

18 days until school starts!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! And I am sure you can guess why that deserves a thousand exclamation points :-)

I am trying to get my ass back into shape. I lost a bunch o weight when I moved here. I have managed to keep most of it off. I think I gained about 10 lbs back (out of 53). I meet with a personal trainer tomorrow who is going to force me into shape. Exercise just really makes me tired and I am tired constantly already so adding exercise is just idiotic. But I need to. I am kind of scared of the program this chickadee is setting up for me. I told her I wanted to lose weight and tighten up. What that means is that my exercise program is going to include evvvvvverything in the gym LOL. I HATE HATE HATE cardio and I just KNOW she is going to have my ass on some cardio machines. The tightening up isn't so bad because most of that is resistance and there isn't much accelerated heartbeat involved LOL. I hate when that heartrate goes above 50 beats per minute LOLOL! So anyway, wish me luck. I am entering a world of hell and the sad thing is that I am doing it voluntarily. Whatta schmuck!

School starts in 18 days!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

My TV schedule is starting to get really outta hand. I guess I should say my Mondays are about to get crazy LOL. (I know, who really cares about my TV schedule? I DO! and it's my blog so deal). Anyway, I have Big Love on Mondays. Saving Grace and then in 4 days I have to add Weeds and Californication. And thennnnnn next month I can add Dexter into the mix. So what does all this mean? I had to get DVR! I am scared of DVR. That's why we never had it. I am terrified of thinking I am recording something and then finding out I did it wrong and I miss a show. Ugh. That is soooo scary LOL. I do love On Demand though. On Demand is an option for HBO because they put their shows on the day after they air. Showtime doesn't. Bastards. So tomorrow I swap boxes. I am feeling brave and unstoppable. A lazy couch potato I become :-)

Ya know who I am jealous of? People who can use laptops without a mouse. People who can use this little black box amaze me. I wish I was them.

Cool Ranch Doritos ROCK!!!

I caught my son holding hands with the girl down the street. They were watching TV and she leaned in and grabbed his hand. EEEEEEEEK! Little hussy. Just kidding, she's a sweetheart. But my little dude is only 7 :( And she is only 5 (today is her birthday). I know, I know, it could be worse. They could be playing doctor like I was at their age. ((((shiver)))) Nevermind, I don't want to talk about this anymore.

My dog is dreaming. What do dogs dream about? Have you ever noticed that it always sounds like a bad dream? Yiping and clawing and whining and yelping. Poor pups. You never see them moaning or sweating and wiggling and they never light up a cigarette after they wake up. Must suck to be a dog.

Did I mention that school starts in 18 days???????????????????

Todd ran over Mason's bike today. Sigh.... Do we get him a new one or do we make him live bikeless to teach him a lesson about putting things behind vehicles? I say we get him a new one and I say that because I am a nice mom and don't want to drive him to school everday. Kids, I swear. Or is it Todd's fault for not looking behind his truck before he got in? Hmmm...

Avery is throwing popcorn at Ozark while he sleeps/dreams LOL. It's pretty funny. One of Todd's favorite pastimes is putting snausages next to his nose while he's asleep to see how long it takes him to smell it and wake up. Dumbass dog sometimes takes 5 minutes LOL. My favorite pastime is taking hunks of meat and throwing it at Ozark's mouth. He misses every single time because he's blind and sometimes it lands on his head and he doesn't know it LOL. Poor Ozark Peckerwood. He's dumb as a bag of bricks but he's cute and we love him :-)

I really really hate strapless bras!

LOLOLOLOL a squirrel just fell off the fence. The squirrels around here are hilarious. They're drunk. The neighbors have a couple different fruit trees and the fruit that falls ferments and gets the little buggers trashed. When they try and jump from a fence to a tree branch is the best. Sometimes they make it and sometimes they don't. They just get up and stagger away.

Okay I have been at this long enough. I have no idea when I'll update this again so please refrain from sending me scathing emails. I am about to start a folder of blog reminder emails. I might update this to let ya'll know how the personal trainer shit goes tomorrow. It oughtta be interesting.

Ya'll have a great day :-)

Update While Waiting...

Okay I am waiting for the husband to come home so we can go out to eat. Mama's hungry and lazy. I had dinner out to cook but I spent 2 hrs on the phone with dear Diana (miss you hon) so cooking is out. You rock Di :-)

Update...

- My Fifth's Disease is gone!!! Mother fucker that sucked! The pain was unbearable and I hope nobody ever has to go through it.

- I failed a Lupus test. My numbers came back wonky so they are shipping me off to a specialist for more tests. Why are there always MORE tests??? Can't one person just do them all? I'm not too worried about it because I always prepared myself for this (mommy had Lupus). If it happens, it happens. It sucks and I don't want that shit but there is nothing I can do about it so I just have to sit here and wait....

- My friends left me on Sunday. Heartbreaking! I want them back and I never want them to leave! I feel bad because I was immobile for the first 4 days but I was glad they were here. They helped me a lot and kept my spirits up....besides one day I kept crying and they finally shipped me to the ER. Other than that it worked out okay. My friends are the best. The best I tell ya. Hopefully I can see them again soon.

- I hate summer vacation!!!! These crazy kids need to go back to school. My head is spinning because all they do is fight and yell and fight some more. Sigh....

- I need a goddamn pool! It has been so hot here and I vow to move if I don't have a hole full of water by next summer. My BIL just sold his house today so his pool is no longer an option. Living in TX without a pool is just idiotic.

- It is still raining here! STILL!!! 3 months now of nonstop rain. I haven't straightened my hair in forever because if I do, it's frizzy and messy after one second outside. Fucking humidity. This is central TX, there isn't supposed to be humidity!!! dangit

- I wish my hubby would hurry up and get here. Mama needs her enchiladas :-)

- I miss the Sopranos already

Well there isn't much to update. Nothing exciting ever happens in my life. Same shit, different day :-)
Oh My God I hear a diesel truck in my driveway........

Time to eat!
Buh Bye!

COOTIES!

I got kid cooties!
One morning about 12 days ago Mason woke up with a rash on his arms and cheeks. No fever, no sore throat, nothin. I just assumed it was one of the zillion kid viruses that come with a rash and I was right. Turns out it was Fifth's Disease.
What is Fifth's Disease? Click here: http://www.cdc.gov/ncidod/dvrd/revb/respiratory/parvo_b19.htm

Anyhoo...his rash went away and all is well. Friday I started to feel funny. High fever and the worst headache I have ever had. I didn't know what it was because, well, Fifth's in adults just isn't that common (yes, I called my doc repeatedly bitching and moaning and she said "sinus infection and strep"). All weekend I was fevery and headachey (BAD!). Then the throat kicked in Sunday night. White shit and sore. Monday the right side of my throat was swollen to the size of a half dollar(the gland). I just felt icky. I wasn't getting better, I was getting worse. I took a shower in the morning and then low and behold I see a fucking RASH! Fifth's Disease! What the fuck???????? 2 hours later and my body was covered. Yesterday I went to the doctor's and the first words out of her mouth were "oh holy hell you got it bad". Oh thanks doc. She was totally shocked that i would even get it. She also said that when adults do get it, they get it 10x worse than kids (kinda like chicken pox). Today I can barely move my neck. It feels like it's broken or something. Every bone in my right hand and wrist feel like they are being crushed. I have a headache and I am falling asleep like a fucking narcoleptic. The neck is the worst though because when I move it I yelp in pain. Hurts like a sonofabitch! My doc said this could last weeks and even months!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! The rash isn't as bad today but it's "prickly" feeling and somewhat itchy. Sucks. If I go outside in the heat the rash comes back and itches (BAD news for a fucking Texan!).

I am just so freaking pissed. I have 13 people coming in on Saturday and need my strength. I'm not contagious at all so that is good but I want to FEEL better. I feel like I was ran over with a truck and then beaten while I was down. Sucks. I felt better yesterday than i do today.

Kid cooties are bullshit! Kids skate through it like it's nothing but when I got it? It has withered me down to a painful little stump. Bullshit. Bullshit I say!

'Scuse my language. I can see lots and lots of cuss words out of the corner of my eye :-)

Avery had a little rash on her legs a couple days ago and that's it. She did have a fever yesterday so maybe she is going to get it more hardcore soon. I don't know. Or she got it and it was nothing (lucky her).

Doc said Todd "probably wont get it but watch for signs". If he gets it I will need to move out. Men don't handle these things very well. He would have to be committed if he got this. So I am crossing my fingers that he is in the clear.

Anyhoo....I am angry and sore and sad and tired and pissed and really hating every second of this.

Thanks for listening. I needed to vent and Todd is sick of my whining, Mason rolls his eyes like I am making a big deal out of it since his was a piece of cake, and Avery just rubs my hands and hugs me. The dog and blog are the only ones I can talk to :-)

Rain, Rain, and more Rain

Gah! You probably remember me whining about the rain here about a month ago. Well it hasn't stopped raining since then. It has rained at least every other day for about a month and a half. Sometimes it rains 3 days consecutive. Now, yes, in central Texas this is a blessing due to drought tendencies, but dangit, it's getting OLD. It's storming right now.

I haven't had a good hair day in months. Every time I spend the time to make my hair pretty, it goes wonky the minute I step out of the house and get soaked with rain. I have resorted to messy, in a bun hair. So don't expect any pictures anytime soon LOL.

The lake is super full and that is a GREAT thing. All the coves have water, whereas a couple months ago they were so dried up you could walk along the coves and not find the actual lake. Full coves are good for this family because my BIL's lakehouse sits at the end of a cove and if ya wanna swim in the lake, ride waverunners, boat, or sit around on noodles (NOT ME, but other brave folk) ya need water. So when it's dried up, lake fun is harder to accomplish.

Speaking of lakehouse and wetness...

We were there this weekend and people decided to take a walk down to the lake. Well a few minutes later Mason comes running up and tells me that they decided to cut their walk short because THERE ARE TOO MANY SNAKES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Mother fucker that is SOOOOOOOOO not what I wanted to hear! Wet conditions = snakes out for joy rides = Leslie on a joy ride out of the damn state! I lived in a happy place called denial for almost 2 years now...no snakes at the lakehouse. Now that happy place has been blown to shreds. I will NEVER EVER step foot near that lake again. I might ride down there on the gator armed with a gun but even that is unlikely. I'm not afraid of getting bit...I am afraid of a heartattack and puking. Scary little fuckers and here in Tejas, there are no itty bitty garter snakes like in MI. Here you get cottonmouths and rattlesnakes, and they are big....looooooong and nasty and ugly and a menace on my world. UGH! I am just heartbroken. I am thinking that I might need therapy. By that I mean, I might need to kill some snakes. But killing them means I need to see them and get close and that is the part that I am trying to avoid. But maybe I need to do that. Who knows. Right now I think I need to stay the hell away from the lakehouse and/or stay in the barn and watch the beautiful deer feed LOL. Deer are perfect. Snakes are ridiculous and evil in every sense of the word. Gah!

On that same day at the lakehouse, Todd decided to take Mason and Avery for a walk to find other critters that weren't 5 foot long venomous snakes. They came back with a bucket full of scorpions. Nice. Then they dumped those out and came back with a HUGE tarantula. It was the size of my palm. Cute little guy. Spiders, bugs, scorpions don't scare me. I can handle any of that. Snakes scare the piss out of me. So when someone hands me a baseball size tarantula I will smile. If someone hands me a 5 foot snake I will keel over and die.

So anyway....this rain needs to go bye bye for a while. The snakes need to go back into hiding and I need a good hair day. The lake is full. The trees and grass and bushes are green green green and well watered. There is time for the rain to take a break.

Rain rain go away........

Here We Go.....

School is out!
Mason is all over the place, physically and mentally. I'm exhausted just watching him flail over the place with too much to do and too little time. This cul de sac is in full force now that the kids are out of school. There are 18 kids in this little cul de sac and they are allllll rarin' to go. Kids kids everywhere. That is a very very good thing! In MI, there were no kids and the ones that were around never came outside and we didn't know any of them. Socially, here in Texas, my kids are maxed out :-)

Avery is really excited Mason is out of school as well. She always misses him when he's gone. When he was at school she had no one to beat on and yell at LOL. Avery is a brut and little demon seed. She's cute and all, don't get me wrong, but she has a mean streak that is unstoppable once it's unleashed! Poor Mason. I spend 99% of my time separating those two. Avery will walk up to Mason and just start poking him in the cheek to see how long it takes Mason to blow his top. She annoys the crap out of him and then when he has had enough, she brings out the big guns, like fists and baseball bats. They fight non stop. It makes my head spin so tight that I think I am going to burst. I keep chanting..."it's a phase, it's a phase...." I am sure it IS a phase but dammit it seems like it is going to last forever.

Crazy kids.....

But they sure are sweethearts when they want to be :-) Last night Mason walked in my room, laid his head on my shoulder, and said "mom I love you more than anything else in the world". MUSH! My heart turned to mush :-) Both of them are snuggly lovey huggy kids. They always have been. So when life gets to crazy I just remember that and then out of nowhere they will both beg for snuggles and the stress just washes away.

Then the next day it starts all over........

Life is busy busy right now. Last weekend was a busy one with graduation and visiting family and Memorial Day. It was busy but it was a ton of fun. Spending time with our family is always a blast. Always! They are all such good people. Deep down hardcore goodness. Unconditional goodness. Having family like this is a dream come true. Pure perfection.

This coming weekend we have GOT to get our deck started. We have a ton of people coming to stay with us so we need to get it done before then. Hopefully Todd can get enough done to keep me placated LOL. Otherwise I am going to feel the wrath of procrastination and I don't bode well with unfinished business. I married the world's biggest procrastinator. BIGGEST. Bless his heart but he is hard to get moving. I am the person who says they are going to do something and I do it...right then. Not next week or next month. So sometimes it hard for me to wrap my head around procrastination and the mindset of those who follow it's neverending path. You'd think that after 19 years I would have gotten used to it. But I am about 50% German and a heavy 50% Italian. Patience isn't our strong suit (to put it mildly). But I love the little procrastinator so if I just keep raggin on him, I am sure the deck will get done (in 2008 hee hee).

Okay, Avery just punched Mason in the ear. I better go and put out the fire :-)
And on we go............

An Update????

Well, yes, I know it has been 21 days since I updated this blog and I have gotten about 21 scathing emails. Sorry gang, I'm lazy. I just am.

So what's new? Not much.

Mason finished his baseball season.
Mason's last day of first grade was today ((((SOB))))
Mason is handsome
Mason is smart as a whip
Mason is going to be starting soccer for the summer and then on to baseball in the fall
Mason has a killer smile
Mason needs a haircut
Mason loves ice cream
Mason is really excited about summer vacation and starting 2nd grade in fall
Mason is excited for a bunch of his MI friends to come down
Mason has grown at least a foot this year


Avery starts gymnastics next week
Avery is devilishly cute
Avery likes to ride her bike
Avery likes to dig in the dirt
Avery has curly hair
Avery likes to change her clothes 70 times a day
Avery thinks she is the boss of everything
Avery loves to play at the YMCA
Avery likes to play with Mason
Avery has grown like a weed this year

There is a kidlet update. Todd and I are just looking forward to a fun summer and killer tans. We are working on getting our backyard purdy and Todd is building a deck with the help of his brother. Hopefully it will be done by the end of 2007 - ha ha ha ha! The weather here is shitty right now and I yearn for sunshine and dryness.

Well that about covers it LOL. There is a reason I don't update this very often and that is because there is never anything new :-)
But here are some pictures for ya'll. This should hold ya over for a couple days :-)
Love ya'll


Mason and his guitar




Cutie Avery





Cinco de Mayo




Joe and Sharon Cinco de Mayo





Deaner and Kelly Cinco de Mayo




Catcher Mason




Adorable!




Mom and Mason

Hmmmmm

I have nothing to write about LOL.
I am getting scathing emails because I haven't updated this blog in a while. There is a reason I haven't updated it and that is simply because I have nothing to say :-)

Well I guess I always have "something" to say but do ya'll really want to read my rambling thoughts?

My friends are coming down to see me :-) Matt, Tammy, Eric, my Cousin Brandy and all their kids :-) And guess what? They are all coming at the same time!!! I am so excited I have to stop myself from pissing my pants. Those crazy friends o' mine rented one of those huge 15 seater vans and they are all driving down together. Talk about a clown car! With 6 kids in that van I am a tad worried that they might turn around and go home before they get an hour out of town. Ha Ha. Just kidding. I'll give em 2 hours tops :-) In all honesty I am jealous. ROAD TRIP! I think that drive will be fun! I actually considered flying up there just so I could drive down with them LOL. But that is really a waste of money LOL. They are spending a week with us. If I had my way they would never ever leave. I wish I could keep them all with me forever. I am so excited because I miss them all individually but I miss the collective as well. I miss all of us being together. Something always seems amiss and I attribute it to missing my friends. I have great friends. They are all incredible people. Anyone would be lucky to have them as friends. We have been together for 20 years. Well Matt and I have been at least. Brandy is my cousin so we have been friends since birth LOL. I became friends with Eric 19 years ago and Tammy about 11 years ago. We are truly BFF's. Ugh I really hate that BFF shit. Anyway...I miss my friends and I can't wait to see them!!!

I am really fucking sick of rain!!!!

I am hungry and I want some damn steak fajitas :-)

Summer is here (I think) and I am fearing the heat. It gets so bloody hot here. My BIL is selling his house and his house is where I run to when it just gets too hot to handle. His pool. Oh how I love his pool. I love him too but his pool is what really gets me wet! hahahahahaha! I wanted to get a pool here but apparently insurance would be astronomical due to the fact that there are 18 kids in this cul de sac LOL. I didn't know about that stuff. Apparently it matters who lives near you. So I might have to sell this house and get one with a pool. I just dont want to leave this cul de sac. I love it here. Big time. Hell I thought about buying BIL's house until I found out what his utilities were LOL. Oh and then the nazi dickhead neighbor called the cops on us for toilet papering. Nuh uh, nevermind :-) I would probably end up in the clink for killing the neighbor and here in TX they just walk you to the death chamber rather than behind bars LOL. Not worth it! So anyway, it's freaking hot in the summer and I am dreading it.

Today I accidentally spelled "Jupiter" wrong and my kid caught it, rolled his eyes, and erased it and told me to re-write it LOL.

I got a red ant bite and it's really pissing me off.

Avery hates flip flops.

Ozark likes the song "Dogs" by Pink Floyd.

Time is crawling by and I want my damn fajitas!!!

Oh my gawd, has anyone priced baseball bats lately? I had to go buy Mason a new bat today because his is just too heavy for him (an aluminum bat, by the way). Well I find the right weight and then I went to measure it's length next to Mason's old bat. That is when I saw the price tag and had to hang on to the cart to keep from falling over. That little kid's aluminum bat was $159!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Why in the bloody hell would a little league bat be so freaking expensive??? It's a straight piece of metal. Needless to say I put that bastard right back in the rack and opted for the cheapest one they had...which was $59! $59 still seems super high for a bat. The shitty thing is that these kids grow so fast that next season he might need a heavier bat. Sigh...... Oh mitts aren't cheap either. Those things range from $30 to $200. Sigh........


I'm tired.

I need my eyebrows waxed. Does anyone get waxed? That is some seriously painful shit. I'm not sure it's worth it. Being nice and smooth and un-bushy is a good thing but the pain that comes with it is just horrible. I prefer tweezers thankyouverymuch. But I do get the brows waxed once in a while just for shape and a line that I can follow while tweezing. Brazilian wax??? Ummm I can't even begin to imagine the pain that comes with that. Seriously. That has to be one of the scariest thoughts of all time. Do people REALLY do that? Are they masochists? Do they get really drunk first? ((wince)) A razor works just as well and doesn't hurt unless someone walks in the room and startles you (yes, been there, done that). But wax it? ((shiver))

My son is in love with Johnny Cash and it cracks me up. I'm not sure that's a good thing though. I'm not into censorship but "I took a shot of cocaine and I shot my woman down" or "I shot a man in Reno just to watch him die" seems a little un-kid friendly to me LOL. So I try and be present so I can accidentally hit the button and change the song. Mason always says "why are you doing that? I know what it says already, mom". I guess it could be worse because his other favorite is Kid Rock (just like his mama LOL).

Oh I better get going. I am sure I bored ya'll to tears by now :-) But for all of you who begged for an update...there it is :-)

Fajitas here I come............